


Humid and Windy Weather Equals More Than One Person Confused

by grimdarkroxy



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, F/F, F/M, Humanstuck, M/M, More pairings to be added later - Freeform, finally off hiatus, first real homestuck fanfic, i planned way too much of this, more tags will coming soon, most of the pairings will happen later on, my tumblr info is in the first chapter now
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-21
Updated: 2015-07-17
Packaged: 2018-02-26 11:08:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2649794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grimdarkroxy/pseuds/grimdarkroxy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>ON HIATUS</p><p>John Egbert has just begun his first year at Skaia Academy, or rather, has just started moving in. He's optimistic about nearly everything, and he's a more than a little confused as to why his family hasn't told him anything about this Dave guy, who apparently knows quite a bit about him.</p><p>Dave Strider has been a total jerk for most of his life and his family's been trying to change that for the past year. He's totally not crushing on his brother's friend's cousin, who he's never even talked to in a long time.</p><p>Rose Lalonde is trying to balance an education, extracurricular activities, a social life, and a crush all at the same time, and it's not really working.</p><p>Jade Harley is frankly just trying to figure out her sexuality, if she even has one, what she's going to do in life, and whether or not she should tell her cousin John about this Dave guy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. prologue

**Author's Note:**

> since i'll be posting this to my tumblr, i wanted to put my tumblr in here so you guys know its me! of course there are no parenthesis but you get the point
> 
> calliopethegreat(dot)tumblr(dot)com
> 
> i will also be tracking the tag 'hwwmtopcfic' so if you talk about this fic be sure to tag it hwwmtopcfic!

Waking up at five thirty in the morning probably wasn’t one of the best things to do for a fourteen year old boy, or at least most fourteen year old boys wouldn’t do such a thing. Especially not two weeks before summer ended. John Egbert didn’t care though, because today was the day he was moving into Skaia Academy, the most prestigious high school in America. It was incredibly hard to get in, because students were selected from a hand-picked group. Of course that was the second stage, the first stage was completely random. It didn’t matter how many extracurriculars you were doing, your wealth, your grades, nothing mattered. In fact, nobody knew how things worked. Skaia Academy had only been around for about twenty-five years, but still produced some of the most highly educated and talented students. 

For example, John’s father, Harold Egbert. He was an incredibly valued businessman at Crocker Inc., one of the most famous businesses. But this story isn’t really about John’s dad, it’s about John and a few others. But we’ll talk about them later, so for now, let’s focus on the present. 

John was currently dressed in a plain t-shirt, tan shorts and blue sneakers. Yeah, he didn’t really have much fashion sense. He had already packed all of the required things he would need - which wasn’t very much considering most of the things he’d need would be given to him. Today he would go on the three hour drive with his dad and his cousin, Jane Crocker. Today, he wouldn’t be left behind.

“John! Hurry up, we need to leave soon!” He could hear Jane calling him, and honestly he was going to ignore her, just for a moment. He took one last look at his room. He wouldn’t see this room until Christmas break. Hell, he wouldn’t see his house, or even his hometown! Gosh, he wasn’t really sure he could do this when it came to it…

“John?” Said teen jumped a little and quickly turned around to see his cousin looking at him with a knowing look.

“Y-yeah?” John cursed his voice for slipping into a slightly higher pitch, he hadn’t done that since he was twelve! He sighed a little looking back at his room.

“You know, you’ll be back eventually John. I had the same worries back when I got accepted for the four years. You’ll be fine, you’re gonna have a great time! Now come up, we gotta get hustlin!” And with that Jane entered the boy’s room and grabbed his two luggage bags and gave one to John.

John smiled a little bit, that’s right, he just had to think positively!

When the two Egberts and one Crocker arrived on Skaia Academy property, John had decided that the pictures did the place absolutely no justice. None. This place was huge! Wait, was that a track he saw? Well, yeah probably, they have a sports department you nitwit! John chuckled as he came to that realization. Of course the Academy did. While they drove to the entrance, John literally shook with excitement. Jane, seeing this, started laughing at her younger cousin. Not with malice, but because she as well had done the same thing just two years earlier.

Harold Egbert merely shook his head with a small smile. 

“Alright kiddos, remember to have fun, don’t forget your I.D. cards, and be safe!” Of course John was already out of the car and getting his and Jane’s luggage out of the trunk.

“Jane?” Jane looked at her uncle, she had just been about to exit the car. She raised her eyebrows at Harold.

“Make sure he stays safe, and make sure you’re there for him when he needs it, and that he makes some friends alright?” Jane smiled, rolling her eyes.

“He’ll make friends Uncle. I’ll make sure he stays safe, and I’ll be there for him. Try not to worry okay? I’ll text you. Love you Unc!” And with that she was out of the car, and Harold began to drive away after the two waved at him and turned towards the admissions building.

As the senior Egbert drove away, all he could think about was how quickly Jane and John had grown up, and how unbelievably proud he was of them.

“Alright, so your dorm building is the one across from mine, dorm number 413. You’ll be rooming with another guy, and you should get your schedule at Orientation. Remember John, Orientation starts at eleven thirty in the auditorium, so be there or be square. Trust me, you can’t afford to miss it. And be nice too.” Jane had been rambling for about ten minutes, and frankly John had only caught that last bit of it. 

“Alright, alright! I get it… Orientation at eleven thirty in the auditorium, room 413, be nice.” John smiled brightly, and gave a look that begged to be able to leave. Jane sighed and rolled her eyes a little.

“Alright, call or text me if there’s any problems. Love you.” 

“Love you too Jane, see you later!”

Before John could even set his stuff down, he heard a knock on the door. John had been the first one there, so he was the only one to look up at the person who had just entered. The first thing he noticed was that he was a lot taller than himself. He also had really blonde hair, like white-blond not dirty blond or whatever. He was also wearing a red hoodie, jeans Vans and really anime looking shades.

Yeah, John knew what anime was. So? What are you gonna do about it?

“You must be John Egbert. Sup.” The other male closed the door and went over to the bed that John hadn’t claimed.

“Uh, hi. How do you know my name exactly?” John was a little, okay he was actually incredibly confused. The blonde didn’t look over when he answered.

“You look a lot like my brother’s friend’s cousin.”

“I see, uh. Who are you?” 

“Oh, right. Guess Jane didn’t mention me. I’m Dave Strider, Dirk’s younger brother, freshman.” Dave looked over at John this time, an eyebrow raised. 

“Heh, no she didn’t. I think I’ve heard the name Dirk before, and I know I’ve heard Strider before… Huh, that’s really weird. Well, it’s nice to meet you Dave. I’m seriously wondering why Jane has never mentioned you before though…”

“It’s probably nothing Egderp, we should try unpack as much as we can though. Orientation’s in thirty.”

“Yeah, you’re right.” And with that, the two freshman began unpacking. Neither of the two made conversation, and when there were only five minutes left until Orientation both of the boys were done unpacking. Dave was looking at his phone, while John stared at the clock.

John Egbert had a feeling it would be a long year.


	2. Chapter 1: I have absolutely no idea what to call this.

He had left a little early, not waiting for Dave as the blonde seemed pretty preoccupied with whatever he was doing on his phone. John began walking to the auditorium, not getting lost because frankly there were signs everywhere pointing in the direction of the building. The warm air was incredibly different than the cool AC in the dormitory buildings, and frankly John was surprised he had adjusted so well.

When he finally arrived to the building he was greeted by a young looking woman with a pink shawl wrapped around her head. She greeted John with a smile and introduced herself as Ms. Paint, and gave John his schedule and a name tag with his name on it. She told him to sit somewhere in the first two rows in front of the stage. John nodded and went to do as he was told, smiling a little to himself. Okay, so maybe his grin was kind of taking over his face, but that’s a minor detail. 

Soon the auditorium began to fill up with students. He saw Dave come in and sit in the row behind him next to a really pretty girl with short blonde hair, the same color as Dave’s hair. John realized that they were probably twins or something, as the two looked a lot alike. Before John could turn around he saw his cousin Jade, and if his smile could get any bigger, it would have.

“Jade!” His cousin, who really might as well been his twin, turned to look at him and smiled an equally big smile. Jade rushed over to her cousin and practically almost tackled him. John laughed before slightly pushing her off. 

“Nice to see you as well Jade!” Jade grinned and signed a quick hello, then proceeded to ask how his day was going.

“Eh, it’s going good I guess. My roommate seems to already know me and Jane? I really don’t understand that, but I’ll ask Jane later. What about you?” John replied with a shrug, not really sure what to say besides that. Jade tilted her head and made a thoughtful face, but perked up as her eyes caught the sight of something behind John. He turned to look behind him and saw a girl with a blue hat with cat ears, a blue tail and red hair waving at the two of them. Beside her were two guys, one who was really short and angry looking, the other looked incredibly strong, but at the same time was pretty slim. The latter had medium length hair and looked a little nervous, while the angry looking one had short black hair, kind of similar to John’s, and looked like he wanted to punch someone in the gut. John looked back at Jade, who signed that the girl was her roommate and the guys were her newly made friends. Jade waved them over, and much to John’s surprise, the girl started to sign to Jade. Of course, he wasn’t really paying much attention even though he knew Sign Language, instead he looked at the two guys and waved. 

The short angry one – John had really just decided that was his normal face or something – frowned at John. His name tag, which John hadn’t been able to see clearly before, read ‘Karkat Vantas’. The other male’s name tag read ‘Equius Zahhak’, and John just smiled before sitting back down at the end of the row. Jade noticed and sat next to him, after all a rather distinguished looking gentleman had just gotten on stage and was walking to the center. Karkat, Equius and the redhead all sat down as well and John’s smile came back. Everyone went silent as the man began to speak.

“Welcome to Skaia Academy everyone! This year we have some new students, and as always, I expect the rest of you all to be as civil as possible. Moving on, there is only four days left until the schooling actually begins, so feel free to explore our campus as much as you please. If you have any questions about where things are, there are many, many signs and maps on campus. All of you have your schedules for this year, and as always, the sheet has your House, class, as well as other useful information. Since that’s pretty much it, dismissed.” 

It’s only when John is back in his room that he realizes the man didn’t introduce himself. Thankfully you were able to assume the man was Doctor Eros Scratch, the headmaster. 

“Hmph.” He also doesn’t realizes he makes a sound until Dave looks up from his phone.

“You okay bro?” He didn’t seem very concerned, but maybe that was how he always was, like how Karkat was probably always how he was. At least that was John’s assumption. 

“Yeah, just found it kind of weird how Mr. Scratch didn’t properly introduce himself.” John shrugged, looking at his phone. He should probably text Jane.

“Yup, that was hella weird. Weirder than Harley’s ability to cheer even Vantas up.” John snapped his head towards Dave.

“How the… How do you know Jade?” John was very confused as to why even Jade knew this guy.

“Uh…” Dave looked at his phone and looked back to John. 

“Sorry broski, gotta skidaddle, Dirk needs some help with uh. Stuff. Robotic stuff. Yup, definitely that.” Dave quickly left the room after that and John was left dumbfounded.

Well. It was definitely time to talk to Jane.

After texting Jane to come to his dorm as quickly as possible, John looked through his schedule.

It seemed he was in the Prospit House and in the Breath, Light, Time, and Space group, BLTS for short. John had read up on the whole house thing, and it seemed that the two houses, Prospit and Derse, were literally only for things like sports games, organization, among other things. He also read that the groups just determined what your schedule looked like and who your classmates were. While he was lost in thought about what his days would be like, he heard a knock, probably Jane.

“John?” Sure enough, it was Jane.

“Hey!” John looked up and motioned for her to sit on his bed with him. 

“You said you wanted to talk to me. Is everything okay?” A sudden look of worry crossed her round features, and John internally winced. He hated making his family members worry. This was important though.

“I guess, I mean I’m really confused as to why my roommate knows you, Jade and me, but won’t tell me how… I was hoping you could fill me in.” John eyed Jane hopefully. Jane let out a sigh of relief.

“Oh thank goodness, I thought someone was being mean to you.” Jane smiled a little before going on.

“Who’s your roommate though? You never gave me a name.”

“Dave something. Strideer, wait no, Strider, yeah. Dave Strider.” Jane raised her eyebrows.

“You don’t remember him? I thought the two of you were best buds back in elementary school before he moved!” John’s eyes widened.

“Wait what?”

And so, it took awhile, but John finally began to remember. Sure, Jane had to jog his memory a lot, and then John had to message Jade because apparently she knew how close John and Dave were better than Jane. 

Gosh he was stupid.

Apparently Dave had moved to Texas when they were both seven, leaving John behind. Now John felt incredibly shitty for forgetting his best bro. So as Jane waved goodbye John decided that he was going out to buy Dave a gift. To make up for the whole ‘I forgot you ever existed oops’ thing. And he was gonna buy Dave some proper shades.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have posted the first technical chapter hella yes
> 
> Thank you to all of the kudos and hits, and special thanks to OblivionsCause for reviewing! I think I should clarify that Jade is mute in this fic, for reasons that will be explained later, and that the JohnDave will probably happen later on, probably during Dave's POV. This fic is going to switch POVs every two or three chapters, and next time it will be from Dave's, since I counted the prologue as a chapter. Chapters are a little short for now, but will probably get longer. Probably. 
> 
> Anyways I hope you all enjoyed, and have a wonderful day/night!


	3. chapter 2: fuckin' finally

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> fuckin finally i update this of trashy johndave fic
> 
> and apparently eggnog lattes are a thing?

Dave motherfucking Strider was not a morning person. In fact, he was quite cranky in the morning. Thankfully, he was only cranky when people repeatedly pushed his buttons. However, like most ‘not a morning person please get the fuck outta my way I need the god given gift of caffeine’, his unbelievably cranky attitude was cured by coffee.

Which was why he was at the campus coffee shop: Crockers. Honestly, he had no idea why or how Crocker Inc. had basically replaced Starbucks almost instantly over a couple of days. Honestly, he wasn’t really concerned. Crockers had basically all the same things, just with more baked goods and better drinks. Shit, they even had milkshakes in the summer. Dave shook his head. He needed his eggnog latte.

Okay, that probably sounded really gross to some people, but Dave loved eggnog lattes. Not even ironically. Whatever other people think about eggnog combining with a latte they were probably wrong because hot damn they were so good have those people even had one?

Walking into the store, Dave went to the counter and ordered a large eggnog latte and two cookies. He gave the barista his I.D. card, which basically payed for him. While waiting he checked his phone messages. He heard his name called and he went to go get his order. Dave decided he would stay at the store for awhile, after all he had three messages from Rose.

Oh great. She was asking about John. Again.

\-- You have three (3) new messages from creepy af sis –-  
creepy af sis: David I really do wish you would tell John. You really shouldn't keep him confused and wondering how on earth you know him and the rest of his family.  
creepy af sis: Honestly, sometimes you make things a lot harder for yourself David.  
creepy af sis: Tell him.  
me: okay first off  
me: dont call me that thats not my name you jerk  
me: like honestly i am so hurt  
me: im pretty sure my ankle is twisted into a pretzel  
me: like do you see this hurt  
me: so hurt rose  
me: god this hurt is crazy man  
creepy af sis: I believe that is your birth name. However I will not call you that most unattractive name if you so wish.  
creepy af sis: At least for now.  
me: like a typhoon  
me: holy shit rose could you type any faster  
me: shit bro like damn  
creepy af sis: I'm afraid you have forgotten that I am currently typing on a laptop in my room with my rather attractive roommate, rather than in a coffee shop on a mobile device.  
creepy af sis: Her name is Kanaya and she is so attractive and emotionally appealing, she has the cutest smile and her eyes are so pretty...  
me: ew gross rose i really dont care or want to hear about who you wanna mack on like theres no tomorrow or like youll get stabbed or something  
me: by the way what were we talking about before you started to talk about canada  
creepy af sis: Oh my god. Really Dave?  
creepy af sis: Her name is Kanaya.  
creepy af sis: Canada is a country.  
creepy af sis: Kanaya is a human girl.  
me: so before canada  
me: what we were talking about  
creepy af sis: Sigh.  
creepy af sis: We were talking about John.  
me: oh right  
me: so about canada  
creepy af sis: Dave, come on. This is crucial to your relationship with John.  
me: im sorry sis  
me: cant hear ya over this sweet latte  
creepy af sis: Dave.  
me: yes oh dear sweet sister?  
me: i cant hear you over this eggnog  
creepy af sis: I recommend you tell him soon, otherwise he will most likely ask Jane or Jade about you. He will find out eventually Dave.  
creepy af sis: It's better if you tell him.  
creepy af sis: Now, I have some business to take care of. See you later Dave.

Dave sighed, his latte already gone, and his sister was probably pretty pissed with him. Dave rolls his eyes beneath his replica of Dirk shades. He really needs to get a new pair, this pair screams anime douche bag, something he is clearly not. Obviously.

Dave Strider is just a regular old vanilla douche bag. One that really needs to stop running away from his problems.

John wasn't in the dorm room when Dave got back, and a small ball of anxiety and fear began to manifest in both his brain and heart. Jesus christ Strider, chill out he probably went out for a piss. Dave tried to reassure himself, but after two hours of no John, he began to grow worried. And that wasn't something a Strider did. Striders didn't show their fear. Striders were smooth and didn't shrink away from gettin some of that plush rump. But Dave knew that he wouldn't get any of John's fine plush rump. Because as far as Dave knew, John was straight as a ruler. 

Plus, the shorter boy didn't even remember that Dave existed. Which sucked, a lot. 

Dave looked at the clock for the millionth time that hour, and saw it was almost lunch. Maybe he should socialize. Yeah. That would be good. Socializing. Yup. Okay who was Dave kidding, this was going to be a disaster. Dave decided to go to lunch anyways.

\--------------------

Yup, bad idea. Abort abort, mission too scary. Wait. Did Dave really just say scary in his brain? He should have a wider vocabulary than that. Dave knew he did, contrary to Rose's arguments. Anyways, Dave was currently holding his tray of school lunch, that actually looked edible mind you, and was walking towards where Rose was sitting alone. Because frankly, Rose was kind of the only person he knew.

“Dave, so glad to see you joining me for lunch.” Rose said as Dave sat down, and Dave could tell without looking that Rose was pissed.

“Woah, somebody’s panties are in a bunch. What’s got the almighty Rose so uptight?” Dave was a bit worried, as Rose wouldn’t normally show when she was upset. At least, not this visibly. 

“I’m afraid I have the most hopeless crush on my roommate, and it is imperative that I stop thinking about her like this. It will only distract me from my studies and I can’t have that.” His younger sister sounded upset, pissed and tired all in the same breath. Dave squinted at Rose from behind his dumb shades. 

"And why can't you have both?" He asked almost-softly. Rose turned and looked at him like he just said poison wasn't poisonous. 

"Because I'll get distracted Dave."

"Yeah but have you tried it out? Liking her and doing good in school at the same time?" Dave asked, knowing he was right. 

"I-. No I have not. School doesn't even start until Monday," Dave grinned as he saw the gears turning in Rose's head as she spoke. 

"I suppose I could try it... Only until the end of the first week of school though. Any longer and I might get expelled for having bad grades." Rose finished, and Dave raised a hand for a high-five, which Rose reluctantly accepted. 

"Cool, but why are you sitting alone? I see Rox and Dirk over there with Crocker and English. Surely you could join those nerds." He asked, finally letting the question that had developed when he saw Rose sitting alone be released into the world of questions. To this Rose simply shrugged. 

"Those four are a group in their own, and besides. I would rather not sit with anyone but you until you tell John." A smirk had rested itself on Rose's painted dark purple lips, and Dave briefly wondered why the color wasn't a deep black, but snapped back to reality when he realized Rose had said 'until you tell John'. 

"I'm working on it..." He simply grumbled as he shoved a bite of actually good pizza into his mouth. He frowned when he heard Rose chuckling and looked out the window that happened to be right next to his seat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh my gosh i am so so sorry it's taken me almost a year to update
> 
> anyways here's the extremely late chapter that's not even long enough (only like over 1300 words) i'm so sorry
> 
> sorry if they're ooc, i originally wrote everything up until dave started talking to rose a month after the last update (which was in november of 2014) and also i'm just crappy at characterization sometimes
> 
> as always, reviews and cc are appreaciated, see you guys in the next chapter that will be posted possibly in a week or so


End file.
